If you look at most successful people, you'll see that they all have one thing in common - self-confidence. Yes, some people are born with it but for most other people, it's a learned skill.Here are my top suggestions to increase your confidence:Work on your body language.We've all been at places where someone quite ordinary strides into a room, makes eye contact and start impressing the socks off everybody. Or where you think somebody's at least 6 feet tall because of their bearing and the way they carry themselves and then later you realize they're quite average.
I don't think there is anyone in this world who would want to have low self esteem. Sadly though, the factors that conjured to form this emotional issue is often beyond our control. Luckily, we have control over what we choose to do with the self-esteem that we have. You can either sulk with your low self esteem all your life or decide to work on improving it. But, you should bear in mind that improving your self esteem would take time and would require effort and dedication. There are so many things to do to successfully build up your self esteem, but here are the first three things you need to work on:
Get rid of those negative self-beliefs. The negative self-limiting beliefs that are constantly repeating in your head greatly contributes to your feelings of inadequacy or incapacity. Getting rid of these thoughts is one of the fundamental tasks for anyone who wants to raise his self esteem. You could start by paying more attention to everything that it says--be more attentive of all the negative self-talk that is taking place inside your head. Then you can work on making a list of all the unfavourable thoughts that you hear within. After you have identified your destructive self-limiting beliefs, challenge and refute them. Take each negative thought on your list and counter it with a positive statement together with supporting proof. To provide you with an example, let's use the negative thought, "I cannot do anything well." You can counter this thought by writing down: "Sure, I can do some things well" and then list down things that you have successfully done in the past.
Be with the right people. I have learned many lessons over my years of struggle to end low self esteem; but one of the most important realizations that I made was that the people I surround myself with have a huge bearing on how I feel about myself. With this realization, I had to wisely prune relationships--distance myself from some people and strengthen ties with others. If you want to really be successful in improving your self esteem, see to it that you spend time with positive and supportive people--people who genuinely like, value and respect you. Stay away as much as you can from people who belittle you and make you feel bad about yourself. Belong to a crowd that appreciates your positive traits and helps you come to terms with your imperfections.
Keep learning new skills.Aside from keeping your mind sharp (and preventing Alzheimer's), be a life-long learner. I'm not necessarily talking about formal education.What's stopping you from learning a new language, taking a dance class, learning some new computer skills, taking up blogging, etc. Learning will improve your confidence by leaps and bounds.Take the time to reach out to other people through community programmes, etc.If ever you feel down, there's no better upper than helping other people. Volunteer your services at a children's orphanage or an old aged home.My challenge to you is this - next time you eat out at a restaurant, instead of sending half your meal back to the kitchen, get a doggie bag and give it to the beggar on the nearest corner. His appreciation will melt the hardest of hearts.Learn to stand up for yourself.Your soul dies a tiny little bit every time you keep quiet when you should speak up for yourself. Being a doormat is not attractive and will get you nowhere in the long run.If haven't had much practice before, start with small things. Insist on low-fat milk in your coffee. Return the milk that went sour before the due date. Write a letter of complain if you get bad customer service. And only when you're feeling more confident, then tackle bigger issues like speaking to your boss about overloading you with work or your friends about relationship issues.
Rewards are great at any age. The last thing I asked of a man, was to come tighten the lug nuts after I changed a tire. Do you think after he came to do this in the middle of his workday that I planned something special for him? You better believe it! He needs to know that he is appreciated. Sincerely telling him is one ay, but it's also nice to do things for him as well. And this does not mean going all out. It could be as simple as a special dinner that is planned with his preferences in mind. This is simple enough that it could be done for a friend or your man.Treating a man special is something that is too often overlooked but is such a great tool. Many men will say that this is not their thing, but a spa day is such a great gift. The massage, the facial, the mani/pedi can all be tailored for the manly man (in my immaturity - I still laugh at the clear polish on the nails though). In today's tougher economic time, it may not be as easy to afford the day at the spa, but providing all the services for him at home may work just as well.Game day preparations are also a big hit for the sports aficionado. Whether you get everything ready and leave after you get his boys to come over, or it's a party for two (if you're WATCHING The game too); when you plan it with him in mind he will feel it.
When given a compliment you then responds with "thank you very much." Many times when someone congratulate or compliment us on something, the response is always "it is nothing" or "Anyone could have done." When you reject a compliment what you are doing is discrediting yourself. Stop deducting the positive things as if they do not exist (or use a negative filter).Use positive affirmations to increase your self-esteem. Grab an index card or a paper and write down positive affirmations such as "I accept and love myself" or "I am a valuable person with much to contribute and deserves the best like the others. " Take it with you everywhere and at all times.Repeat these affirmations throughout the day, especially in the morning when you wake up and at night before bed. When you repeat the affirmation enjoy positive feelings and feel good about yourself.Take advantage of workshops, books and any other program on self-esteem. Any material you can come to understand and master that will affect your daily behavior.
Avoid Energy Vampires. All of us know someone who seems to "suck the energy" out of a room just by entering. Give yourself permission to minimize contact with these people. Don't hate them or judge them in any way. Just recognize that they do not improve the quality of your life, and minimize your connection with them.Take a Chance. Try something new and different that you may have been apprehensive about in the past. Enroll in an adult education class, or join a book club, gym, bowling league or other social pastime. Shake up your life a little bit. The change will do you good, and your self-confidence will improve.
Be a Giver. There is an old proverb that says "you only get what you give." With that in mind, start giving what you want to receive in life. Make other people feel as confident and worthwhile as you can. By helping to build up confident feelings in others, you are sure to get back the same thing. Call it karma or what ever you like -- it always works.Practice Forgiveness. Many people are very hard on themselves because, deep down, they have not forgiven themselves for something in their past. If you're clinging to some failure or transgression from the past, recognize that you are doing it and then forgive yourself completely for whatever it was. Likewise, if there is someone else in your life you need to forgive, make it a point to do so. NOT for their sake -- but for yours. When we forgive, we purify our heart and start anew.
Affirmations: Ask Yourself the Right Questions. Some people repeat affirmations such as "I am self confident," which is fine, but you can improve your affirmation results by using leading questions such as, "why am I so confident?" The subconscious mind operates in a very simple manner. When you ask it a question like this, it will immediately go to work looking for the answer, and it will report back to you all of the ways you already are confident."Model" Other Confident People. One way to improve self-confidence is to model the behavior of people whom you consider to be supremely confident. If you can befriend a very confident person, that's great. But if not, just find an actor or other celebrity who is confidence personified, and study their behavior. Do this several times a week, and some of their confident mannerisms are bound to rub off on you.Practice Gratitude. A grateful mind is a peaceful mind, and a peaceful mind radiates confidence. Practice making a daily gratitude list, and particularly focus on different aspects of yourself that you appreciate. Maybe you are a great swimmer, or good at math, or really strong, or a good dancer, or have an unusual sense of humor, or are good at design, or a great singer, or a really good friend, or any number of other positive attributes. Look for what is great about you, and then be grateful you have those qualities. Appreciating your good qualities will improve self-confidence, and help you develop the kind of positive self-image that is crucial to success in life.
[How To Gain Self Confidence]
I don't think there is anyone in this world who would want to have low self esteem. Sadly though, the factors that conjured to form this emotional issue is often beyond our control. Luckily, we have control over what we choose to do with the self-esteem that we have. You can either sulk with your low self esteem all your life or decide to work on improving it. But, you should bear in mind that improving your self esteem would take time and would require effort and dedication. There are so many things to do to successfully build up your self esteem, but here are the first three things you need to work on:
Get rid of those negative self-beliefs. The negative self-limiting beliefs that are constantly repeating in your head greatly contributes to your feelings of inadequacy or incapacity. Getting rid of these thoughts is one of the fundamental tasks for anyone who wants to raise his self esteem. You could start by paying more attention to everything that it says--be more attentive of all the negative self-talk that is taking place inside your head. Then you can work on making a list of all the unfavourable thoughts that you hear within. After you have identified your destructive self-limiting beliefs, challenge and refute them. Take each negative thought on your list and counter it with a positive statement together with supporting proof. To provide you with an example, let's use the negative thought, "I cannot do anything well." You can counter this thought by writing down: "Sure, I can do some things well" and then list down things that you have successfully done in the past.
Be with the right people. I have learned many lessons over my years of struggle to end low self esteem; but one of the most important realizations that I made was that the people I surround myself with have a huge bearing on how I feel about myself. With this realization, I had to wisely prune relationships--distance myself from some people and strengthen ties with others. If you want to really be successful in improving your self esteem, see to it that you spend time with positive and supportive people--people who genuinely like, value and respect you. Stay away as much as you can from people who belittle you and make you feel bad about yourself. Belong to a crowd that appreciates your positive traits and helps you come to terms with your imperfections.
Keep learning new skills.Aside from keeping your mind sharp (and preventing Alzheimer's), be a life-long learner. I'm not necessarily talking about formal education.What's stopping you from learning a new language, taking a dance class, learning some new computer skills, taking up blogging, etc. Learning will improve your confidence by leaps and bounds.Take the time to reach out to other people through community programmes, etc.If ever you feel down, there's no better upper than helping other people. Volunteer your services at a children's orphanage or an old aged home.My challenge to you is this - next time you eat out at a restaurant, instead of sending half your meal back to the kitchen, get a doggie bag and give it to the beggar on the nearest corner. His appreciation will melt the hardest of hearts.Learn to stand up for yourself.Your soul dies a tiny little bit every time you keep quiet when you should speak up for yourself. Being a doormat is not attractive and will get you nowhere in the long run.If haven't had much practice before, start with small things. Insist on low-fat milk in your coffee. Return the milk that went sour before the due date. Write a letter of complain if you get bad customer service. And only when you're feeling more confident, then tackle bigger issues like speaking to your boss about overloading you with work or your friends about relationship issues.
Rewards are great at any age. The last thing I asked of a man, was to come tighten the lug nuts after I changed a tire. Do you think after he came to do this in the middle of his workday that I planned something special for him? You better believe it! He needs to know that he is appreciated. Sincerely telling him is one ay, but it's also nice to do things for him as well. And this does not mean going all out. It could be as simple as a special dinner that is planned with his preferences in mind. This is simple enough that it could be done for a friend or your man.Treating a man special is something that is too often overlooked but is such a great tool. Many men will say that this is not their thing, but a spa day is such a great gift. The massage, the facial, the mani/pedi can all be tailored for the manly man (in my immaturity - I still laugh at the clear polish on the nails though). In today's tougher economic time, it may not be as easy to afford the day at the spa, but providing all the services for him at home may work just as well.Game day preparations are also a big hit for the sports aficionado. Whether you get everything ready and leave after you get his boys to come over, or it's a party for two (if you're WATCHING The game too); when you plan it with him in mind he will feel it.
When given a compliment you then responds with "thank you very much." Many times when someone congratulate or compliment us on something, the response is always "it is nothing" or "Anyone could have done." When you reject a compliment what you are doing is discrediting yourself. Stop deducting the positive things as if they do not exist (or use a negative filter).Use positive affirmations to increase your self-esteem. Grab an index card or a paper and write down positive affirmations such as "I accept and love myself" or "I am a valuable person with much to contribute and deserves the best like the others. " Take it with you everywhere and at all times.Repeat these affirmations throughout the day, especially in the morning when you wake up and at night before bed. When you repeat the affirmation enjoy positive feelings and feel good about yourself.Take advantage of workshops, books and any other program on self-esteem. Any material you can come to understand and master that will affect your daily behavior.
Avoid Energy Vampires. All of us know someone who seems to "suck the energy" out of a room just by entering. Give yourself permission to minimize contact with these people. Don't hate them or judge them in any way. Just recognize that they do not improve the quality of your life, and minimize your connection with them.Take a Chance. Try something new and different that you may have been apprehensive about in the past. Enroll in an adult education class, or join a book club, gym, bowling league or other social pastime. Shake up your life a little bit. The change will do you good, and your self-confidence will improve.
Be a Giver. There is an old proverb that says "you only get what you give." With that in mind, start giving what you want to receive in life. Make other people feel as confident and worthwhile as you can. By helping to build up confident feelings in others, you are sure to get back the same thing. Call it karma or what ever you like -- it always works.Practice Forgiveness. Many people are very hard on themselves because, deep down, they have not forgiven themselves for something in their past. If you're clinging to some failure or transgression from the past, recognize that you are doing it and then forgive yourself completely for whatever it was. Likewise, if there is someone else in your life you need to forgive, make it a point to do so. NOT for their sake -- but for yours. When we forgive, we purify our heart and start anew.
Affirmations: Ask Yourself the Right Questions. Some people repeat affirmations such as "I am self confident," which is fine, but you can improve your affirmation results by using leading questions such as, "why am I so confident?" The subconscious mind operates in a very simple manner. When you ask it a question like this, it will immediately go to work looking for the answer, and it will report back to you all of the ways you already are confident."Model" Other Confident People. One way to improve self-confidence is to model the behavior of people whom you consider to be supremely confident. If you can befriend a very confident person, that's great. But if not, just find an actor or other celebrity who is confidence personified, and study their behavior. Do this several times a week, and some of their confident mannerisms are bound to rub off on you.Practice Gratitude. A grateful mind is a peaceful mind, and a peaceful mind radiates confidence. Practice making a daily gratitude list, and particularly focus on different aspects of yourself that you appreciate. Maybe you are a great swimmer, or good at math, or really strong, or a good dancer, or have an unusual sense of humor, or are good at design, or a great singer, or a really good friend, or any number of other positive attributes. Look for what is great about you, and then be grateful you have those qualities. Appreciating your good qualities will improve self-confidence, and help you develop the kind of positive self-image that is crucial to success in life.
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