Arguing is often considered to be a negative thing in a marriage but actually it is perfectly normal and, if done the right way, pretty healthy too! Everyone has disagreements, even those couples who seemingly 'have it all'.
In this context we would light to highlight the fact that argument can be a double edged sword and one should know how to argue and in which context argument is healthy.
* Some people take fighting very seriously and may be so concerned about winning that they lose sight of what they actually disagree about!
* Some actually obtain the teeth in to a quarrel, filling in an increasing number of ammo right up until these people sometimes accomplish a knock-out or maybe his or her spouse surrenders!
* It is not absolutely necessary to get your teeth in to the argument. One shouldn't forget that arguments are meant to be in a soothing manner and not to hurt each other to a point from where it is very difficult to return.
Seven Sensible Rules for Fighting Fair:
1. Understand what the problem is!
So lets see what are the safe limits of an argument and how adhering to some simple rules you can keep the argument healthy and the relationship intact.
2. Stick to the topic!
2. Remain faithful to the topic!
Before getting in to the argument make sure you understand what is the issue.
Don't launch a character assassination at your poor spouse - discuss the issue don't pull them apart and attack them. Avoid getting personal or being too general eg. telling them what they 'always' do or 'never' do. None of these approaches are in any way constructive.
4. Mutual Respect
3. Don't get personal!
5. Win/Win, Win/Lose, Lose/Lose
5. Win/Win, Win/Lose, Lose/Lose
Treat your lover or wife as you want to be treated. Try to be in their shoes.
* If you lose, don't sulk.
* If you both lose that means the issue may not be resolved satisfactorily.
6. Time out!
6. Time out!
Don't' dispute endlessly with no decision. For anyone who is planning round inside sectors advise people end in the meantime and also consider just what each other include said - however necessarily mean the item when people go back to your conversation try to provide a few brand new tricks to deal with the situation and do not basically keep on in which people left off.
This is a hard one! Don't assume you are right! It is important to listen to your spouse's perspective and to try to see the problem their eyes. Be willing to compromise - coming half way is something all couples need to learn.
This is a hard one! Don't assume you are right! It is important to listen to your spouse's perspective and to try to see the problem their eyes. Be willing to compromise - coming half way is something all couples need to learn.
If you can adopt even a few of these tactics we are certain you will see an improvement in how you argue. If you want to pick up more hints and tips on arguing check out our free communications video course as well as some useful, hand-picked resources specifically on fighting fair.
In this context we would light to highlight the fact that argument can be a double edged sword and one should know how to argue and in which context argument is healthy.
* Some people take fighting very seriously and may be so concerned about winning that they lose sight of what they actually disagree about!
* Some actually obtain the teeth in to a quarrel, filling in an increasing number of ammo right up until these people sometimes accomplish a knock-out or maybe his or her spouse surrenders!
* It is not absolutely necessary to get your teeth in to the argument. One shouldn't forget that arguments are meant to be in a soothing manner and not to hurt each other to a point from where it is very difficult to return.
Seven Sensible Rules for Fighting Fair:
1. Understand what the problem is!
So lets see what are the safe limits of an argument and how adhering to some simple rules you can keep the argument healthy and the relationship intact.
2. Stick to the topic!
2. Remain faithful to the topic!
Before getting in to the argument make sure you understand what is the issue.
Don't launch a character assassination at your poor spouse - discuss the issue don't pull them apart and attack them. Avoid getting personal or being too general eg. telling them what they 'always' do or 'never' do. None of these approaches are in any way constructive.
4. Mutual Respect
3. Don't get personal!
5. Win/Win, Win/Lose, Lose/Lose
5. Win/Win, Win/Lose, Lose/Lose
Treat your lover or wife as you want to be treated. Try to be in their shoes.
* If you lose, don't sulk.
* If you both lose that means the issue may not be resolved satisfactorily.
6. Time out!
6. Time out!
Don't' dispute endlessly with no decision. For anyone who is planning round inside sectors advise people end in the meantime and also consider just what each other include said - however necessarily mean the item when people go back to your conversation try to provide a few brand new tricks to deal with the situation and do not basically keep on in which people left off.
This is a hard one! Don't assume you are right! It is important to listen to your spouse's perspective and to try to see the problem their eyes. Be willing to compromise - coming half way is something all couples need to learn.
This is a hard one! Don't assume you are right! It is important to listen to your spouse's perspective and to try to see the problem their eyes. Be willing to compromise - coming half way is something all couples need to learn.
If you can adopt even a few of these tactics we are certain you will see an improvement in how you argue. If you want to pick up more hints and tips on arguing check out our free communications video course as well as some useful, hand-picked resources specifically on fighting fair.
About the Author:
Want to find out more about marriage related argument, then visit Barbara Firer 's site on how to choose the best argumentative communication in marriage for your needs.
No comments:
Post a Comment